I was practising, yoga and had begun to believe in self control and the joy of being. Breathing in and out, I kept my mind from lurking mischief and wondering into woes. I approached the sublime and soon would let my mind float into clouds of mystery and romance.
The surrealism of being in love, its thistley nuances, thin lines between falling in and out to escaping wars, I wanted to take it all, consumingly overwhelmed by its facets so enamouring. My last stiffness had lasted a week and I had successfully stopped all communication, when all melted seeing a note asking ‘where are you?’ I held up my head breathed heavy and tried to detox from the feelings spiralling within. But something still seemed to vehemently deny the breathing pattern.
My yogic practice was failing! Work was getting unrewarding or was I disorienting it? I would call mom to get her quick solutions for anything, but this one was dreary! Let go! She said, the moment I spilled my woes. LET GO? My job!!! I was baffled. For a parent there isn’t worse than what tortures the kid. She would want that moster get off her kid’s back and let the poor child play happy.
But job wasn’t really a monster! Even my work mates weren’t that zany, nor was my schedule. I went digging deeper into my soul to figure out why I made that call to mom. It was a long search, perhaps just begun.
I was neither unhappy with myself nor with my way of living, not too pompous nor hurting. But each time I met my closest buddy I was beginning to feel a disturbance. Our senses are so designed they signal right and wrong, if you watched closely they would lead you perfectly! You see appreciation in the eyes of your buddies and your selfworth goes up. The reverse holds as true!
If your buddy were envious, not compassionate enough or purely not attracted, whether he pretended or showed it, it may impact you. No amount of breathing helped focus into inner strengths. This is when I would jump to react but hold on. The tug of war has a shearing strain on your inner being. Despite the best reads as ” How to be strong” and “positive thinking” which every young mind would devour I was losing a big part of me. My smile!
Thats when I took to this simple measure. Check how real your smile is to know who you are and how close to your inner being!
The alert goes blaring if your result shows a tremendous distance. It’s not unusual to give in to that state, specially if you believed in karma and destiny. You may believe it’s harmonious to adapt and serve all your social personal conditions with subservience. Yes, as long as your smile is hearty.
Else, Let Go! What do we hold on to? The dearest things. What is dear? That which causes a fear of loss. The moment you rake in your thoughts about how you are without all that you are accumulating, you see your being. If you have to tug something along to keep, its probably going to resist and try break loose. Leave it, if the wind and water carry it to you, being with it is a pleasure and as long as it stays! Give it a thought. You may seem mavericky, but you are realistic!
Let Go! It will come back, coz you loved it so!